Lost

My 17-year-old client killed himself this week. I was getting ready to leave work Friday afternoon when I saw my coworker Kayla on the phone to someone, saying, “No, don’t drive right now. Just wait for someone to come pick you up. You don’t need to be driving right now.” When she saw me she tilted the phone away from her mouth and said, “I’m on the phone with Bethany. Jordan killed himself.” She tilted the mouthpiece forward and went back to listening to Bethany cry as she told what happened. Kayla looked over at me and mouthed, “He hung himself,” as she mimed tying a noose around her neck.

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What Your Bumper Sticker Is Really Saying

Every morning as I head to work I drive by my neighbor’s truck, which is covered in political and religious bumper stickers. The one that catches my eye most days says, “TRUTH, NOT TOLERANCE!” and every day I think, you know, I don’t really want to get to know that neighbor. Look, I’m all for bumper stickers and window decals, and I think it’s almost required for truck owners such as myself to proudly display their opinions and interests to fellow drivers who do not in any way give a shit, but I have to wonder…what is your bumper sticker really saying?

“COEXIST”: I drive slow and I don’t want people to yell at me for it.

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10 Jobs I Think I’m Qualified For

1. Bridal Consultant–I’ve seen every episode of Say Yes to the Dress…all 182 episodes (sorry, Sherwin, for watching it on your Netflix account and ruining your indie foreign film recommendations). Yeah, I don’t know what’s my problem. I even applied for David’s Bridal, and they called me multiple times for interviews, so that definitely means something. Continue reading

10 Reasons Trucks are Better than Boyfriends

I drive a red 2003 Ford Ranger named Sentry the Defiant, and I love him more than most other things in my life. I think of Sentry not so much as a mere mode of transportation or object I own but as a partner in life–one who helps me accomplish my goals (hauling shit), supports me in stressful situations (driving on ice/snow/other forms of precipitation), and challenges me to be a better person (one who gets oil changes on the regular and whatnot).  

Since acquiring Sentry, I have spent a lot of time thinking about people who own trucks, and specifically women who drive them. In terms of defying stereotypical gender roles and solidifying my independence, I would consider owning a truck one of the most “feminist” things I’ve ever done. In those blissful moments cruising the open highway, dreamcatcher hanging from the rearview mirror, I think to myself, “Could I ever love someone as much as I love Sentry? And if I did, how could he ever be as reliable and useful as a truck?” While I do have a (human) boyfriend I care about very much and who is actually a much better conversationalist that Sentry, I would argue that he is the exception, and in most cases, trucks are better than boyfriends. Every girl should have one. Here’s why: Continue reading

A Letter to My Future Daughter about Her Mother and America in July, 2013

That was the summer the NSA thing blew up. It was the first time in a long time that anyone could remember them coming out and saying they were spying on us, rather than doing the polite thing of spying on us discreetly, so we could pretend that they weren’t. Twenty-somethings stuck in Kansas City, far from D.C. or New York or California, or anywhere else things actually happened, slapped stickers on stop signs and telephone poles that read, “Big Brother is Watching You” and, “Everything the State says is a lie, and everything it has it has stolen.”

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